Thursday, October 8, 2009

scrambled eggs and mooncakes

It's true then, the saying about old habits dying hard. True at least for this long-lost habit of mine of blogging in the dead of the night. And yes the title doesn't make much sense but does anything make sense anyways? Maybe I'm just hungry again. Please feed me.

Back then, like maybe 10 years ago, I used to think that 10 years from now I'd be some straight-A or somesuch graduate, knowing everything, galloping around in heels and very sure of the blindingly glorious career path I'd be embarking on. How disappointed my young, innocent self would be if I'd knew then that I'd be horribly wrong on all counts. Especially the heels part.

I used to resent the fact that my life then was more or less set on a course, albeit without my having a say in it. I also used to think that it was kinda cool to be able to do lotsa stuff well-ish... but then I'd also never quite grasped the meaning of 'the jack of all trades is a master of none'. Now having (some) freedom to choose seems a lot less than it was hyped up to be, largely because the options now start off equally unappealing, with no obvious advantages, and keep multiplying and getting worse over time.

Never mind the fact that the above rambling was set off just by watching a double episode of Heroes, or that the nagging feeling that my newly earned degree is of the wrong major keeps coming more than usual... the worst feeling now is that of overwhelming despair that has been plaguing me since exactly two weeks ago, and is threatening to stay. And also the realisation that the only thing that I really wanna do is

Because I just think that the jetlag and nomadic-ness is worth pictures like this

and this

but that's just me. Guess that's just another one of those things not meant to be.

No comments: